My body is rebelling against me.

Yes, you read that correctly. My body is completely rebelling against me. In the past 24 hours I’ve had a migraine, pressure in my left eye, an hour-long foot spasm, a very upset stomach and a 3 inch swollen bug bite. What in the name of Google is going on?

I think this is clearly a sign that the end of the world is near and or I have the gift of a See-er like Professor Trelawney – but a little less crazy and a little more cute. How could all this go wrong in such a short people of time and it not be the end of the world? And NO I AM NOT PREGNANT. Of course when a woman doesn’t feel well, the first thing people think of is pregnancy (or cancer depending on how old you are). So let’s just clear that up. Not preggers. Thanks.

And I know you are thinking that I am clearly over reacting or being a completely mental. But I assure you – I am not crazy (well not pertaining to this subject matter anyway). Trust me, I know one too many hypochondriacs and they are on something else… rather strong… that should be heavily controlled. I’m not [that] crazy but there are too many crazy things happening to me in too short a period of time. I think I shall term this bodily rebellion. This is my logic. Brace yourself for brilliance. There are people who can tell when it’s going to rain because their joints hurt – right? My slightly off kilter mother-in-law is one of them (Hi Gigi!). Well all these insane aliments clearly must be predicting something huge. Now I don’t want to incite panic or anything but I would say that if I break out in hives or get a butt cramp in the next few hours – we are doomed. The end is definitely near.